Usually I start off my posts with something exciting but honestly, I’m exhausted. This has been one of the most emotionally draining years I’ve had in a while. I think I can speak on behalf of a lot of people when I say 2020 just isn’t it. Don’t get me wrong - there’s been a lot of blessings this year as there are every year, it’s just that this year has been so heavy.

Between police brutality taking Black lives and Black role models dying suddenly, all of the deaths that have filled this year is a little traumatic. (I’m not here to debate about whether you think Black people who have been killed by police is justified or not so don’t start. This post is simply sharing the burden that the Black community feels, you can save your other opinions for the argumentative comment sections on Facebook.) It seems as though the Black community has spent majority of this year grieving and trying to process trauma after trauma. If it’s not seeing lives turn into hashtags, it’s logging on social media and seeing that your favorite athlete or movie start or someone else has died. Personally, I don’t even know if I’m over Kobe Bryant’s death yet and now here we are mourning Chadwick Boseman. I can’t even begin to explain the feelings that surfaced with George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and so many others.

So why do we grieve the lives of those we’ve never met? Well, as it pertains to those who have been killed by police, I think we (Black people) realize that those situations can happen to any of us at any time. Like I said earlier, I’m not here to discuss opinions on whether or not people think it’s justified. The point is, it’s scary to think that we too could be minding our own business or following directions or driving or running through a neighborhood or walking back home or being in our home and still get killed (the list goes on). As it pertains to celebrities, when we see them we see ourselves. Little Black boys saw Kobe Bryant and felt that they too could be in the NBA and Black dads everywhere admired the way he took care of his family. Black boys and girls flocked to the movie theaters when Black Panther came out. I saw it at least 5 times while it was in theaters and have seen it at least 3 more times since it’s been out on Disney+.

People like Kobe and Chadwick taught us that we can be anything we want to be. They showed us that we can be great in our profession and even greater at home taking care of our families. They spent their time highlighting the achievements of others who look like us and challenged them to continue to be great. So that’s why it hurts when we get online and see that yet another person has died. How many times was “rest in peace” trending on Twitter? How many more times will it be trending? How many more hashtags about “Justice for…”? What else does 2020 have for us?

To further complicate things, this pandemic has taken away our ability to gather. For those of you who don’t know, it’s very common for Black people to come together during the time of grief. If your cousin dies, your entire family will be at your aunt and uncle’s house within two hours. Within a week, the funeral will be planned and everyone is going to hang out at the repast until at least 10 pm if not later. Loved ones will continue to stop by in the coming weeks. That’s just how we do things. However, COVID-19 has us quarantined and separated from one another. It’s not weird for strangers to hug at candlelight vigils or hold hands standing in front of a mural when someone dies. Now, we don’t have that same opportunity. It’s been a heavy year…

If you don’t take anything else away from this year, I hope you take away these gentle reminders:

• Every day - every single day - that you are blessed to wake up on this side of life, be grateful.

• Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. (I mean you should be kind anyway but if you needed a reason, there you go.)

• Life is clearly short. Spend it with those you love doing things you love.

• Make it your mission to be a light to those around you. Spread love, make someone smile, share peace.

• Check on your friends - even the strong friend, the funny friend, the quiet friend. Check on them and pray for them.

• No matter how much money you have or how famous you get, people will remember you by the how you treated those around you. A mansion and a million dollars is great but it means nothing when you’re 6 feet under. What have you done for others? Are you kind to people?

My inbox is forever open to those who need it. I am here to listen, to laugh, to cry, to be whatever you need during this time and any other time. Everyone needs someone. My social media links and email are always at the top and bottom of the screen and the comment section is always open. We’ll be okay. (:

All My Love,

Tyler

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 NIV