See, I didn’t take that long to come back lol. If you haven’t seen my last post, you should definitely check that out and get caught up. In that post, I mentioned that I would talk about my 30th birthday and share some lessons I learned in my 20s. After I said that, though, I was thinking about whether or not I really wanted to go into detail. These days, I find peace in staying off the internet which I guess is ironic for a girl with a blog. Either way, it was a back and forth internal debate. However, I’m a girl of my word so here we are. In terms of my actual 30th birthday, I was gifted a surprise gathering with the people who mean the most to me. That’s all I will say because the best things in life aren’t necessarily a secret but if you really know me, then you know I’m a private person (again, ironic, I know).

Let’s be real though - you came for the tea. You came to see what I would say about my 20s and find out a little more about me. I feel like it could be useful for me to share what I learned in my 20s but it’s likely more helpful if I reintroduce myself at 30… Hi, my name is Tyler and I’m a 30 year old who works full time, spends most of my time napping, and enjoys the simple things in life like chicken with rice and filling up my Sephora cart with stuff I’ll never actually purchase. I’m a recovering people pleaser, ex Target addict (it’s expensive now, ya know), and lover of lightning deals on Amazon. I enjoy trying new places to eat and lately have been interested in cooking, kinda. Since my mid 20s, I’ve been working with people with disabilities and find it to be rewarding, though some days challenging. My phone is likely on “do not disturb” because half the time I just can’t be bothered. I don’t like people, but I like my people (if you know, you know). I spent a good portion of my 20s trying to convince myself that I was an extrovert and that I liked being “outside”.

The latter part of my 20s was also spent stepping into exactly who I am without feeling like I have to hide certain parts of myself. I prefer being in the house with good food and good company - not spending $30 on overpriced drinks to listen to music I likely don’t care for, surrounded by total strangers. *There is nothing wrong with being outside, but I’m retired now. We had a good run, ya know. My hobbies include painting and laying in bed rubbing my feet together lol. I love to eat and I’m a fairly quiet person but if you’re in my circle I miiight just talk your ear off. I have “weird” habits like talking to myself out loud and counting my chicken nuggets to make sure I didn’t get played at Chic-Fil-A. I learned that I don’t have to settle in any area of my life and that all things are working out for me. I learned that every day may not be a good day but there’s something good in every day. I learned how to take time for myself without feeling guilty because you can’t pour from an empty cup. I learned that grief comes in waves and there’s no timeline or end date. I’ve learned that my perspective on things is not the only perspective that exists. I learned not to stay in places or around people that completely drain me. I’m learning to set healthy boundaries without guilt.

I certainly learned (the hard way, and more than once) that the longer you spend your time on things and people that you know aren’t for you, the longer you delay what’s actually meant for you. I learned that you don’t stay at jobs simply because of your coworkers and that all money isn’t good money. I learned that the lesson repeats itself until you’re ready to get it. I learned that people can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves and that you can count on people to fully be themselves in every situation. I’ve learned that it’s okay to stay away from situations and people that will cause you to backtrack in the progress you’ve made. I’ve learned to be comfortable with saying no without feeling like I need to explain myself. I learned that, sometimes, you have to heal from people who you will never get an apology from. I learned that life is mostly about spending your time doing what you love with who you love and helping people as often as you can.

I am in such a space of peace and it mostly comes from being comfortable with myself and keeping my joy no matter the situation at hand. I’ve learned about myself and I actually like me a lot - she cool or whateva. I learned that it’s okay to reach out and ask for help from those you trust. I learned that the voice inside my head that thinks of the worst possible scenario from time to time is rarely ever correct and that if you detach your emotions from your overthinking, you’ll realize your brain just fills in the blank with stuff that’s likely never going to happen (shout out to my therapist, love her). I’ve learned that we’re all just one decision away from changing the rest of our lives - for better or for worse. I’ve learned that the Hulu no ads plan is far superior to the Hulu with ads plan so treat yourself. I’ve learned that it’s not helpful to Google your symptoms but I do hold a Medical Doctorate degree from WebMD and completed my surgical internship at Grey Sloan Memorial so do whatever works for you.

I can confirm that what “they” say is true - 30s are like your 20s but you have more money, make better decisions, and stop caring so much about what other people think. If you’re still in your 20s, enjoy it. You won’t have Megan knees forever (although I don’t think I ever did), you will need to update your pillows to support your neck, and if the Freshman 15 didn’t get you in college it might get you at like 28. If you like to be outside, be outside and have the time of your life because one day you’ll be in bed under the covers with the AC blasting and they can’t pay you enough to go to the club. Drink your water and eat your vegetables and to all my anemic girlies reading this: eat your spinach and take those supplements. Don’t ever let anyone take you out of your character and remember that integrity is who you are when no one is watching. If you feel like God is ever far away, He’s not. Replace your worries with worship and your panic with prayer. What you don’t change, you allow. People treat you the way you allow them to. Take the trip, even if you have to go by yourself. That’s all, until next time…

“One thing I realized is that everything always ends up working out. Sometimes even better than you can imagine. Remember this when you feel like you’re in a hard place or you feel like you’re being challenged the most. Believe in where you’re headed. See the bigger picture.” -Some random post I saw on IG years ago and still look at as a reminder.

Wash your hands, mind your business, drive sober, love yourself, and follow your skincare routine. Take care of yourself, treat yourself, love yourself.

All My Love,

Tyler

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5 NIV *God really did His thing with this one because we really just be down here on vibes, doing whatever. Trust in Him every time. Luh you bye.