Resilience
Resilient: (adj.) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions; able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.
For the last few weeks, my determination and faith have been tested in just about every area of my life. How much can you handle before wanting to give up? How do you get back up after being knocked down, time after time? When one thing resolves and the next problem comes your way, how do you respond? When you have a whole week of bad news, how do you push yourself into the next week? I’d be lying if I said this summer hasn’t been a challenge. It’s hard for me to get online and tell you all to stay motivated and keep going when everything is falling apart, as I personally go through test after test. But I do it, hoping that I’ll take my own advice and find the strength to continue, to be resilient.
Speaking of tests, a few weeks ago I took my multiple subject CSET and it was by far the hardest (and most expensive) test I’ve ever taken. To spare you all the anxiety that I felt when I was waiting for the results to come, today I found out I didn’t pass… by 5 points (thankfully I passed the other 2 but I need all 3 for my job). So guess who will be retaking the math and science subtest? This girl. I had an offer for an interview that was dependent upon me passing this exam so you can imagine my devastation when I opened the email that said I scored a 215 when I needed a 220. By the time I retake the test and get the results, I’m not sure if my dream job will still be available. On top of that, I was waiting for some health test results this week and the closest person to me has cancer. Typing that feels unreal. So here I am, writing this blog post in hopes that I’ll receive some kind of clarity to the answers that continue to take up space in my mind.
Resiliency is an interesting concept because there’s no way to teach it. There’s no study guide, no professor, no manual, nothing. In order to become resilient, you have to go through some things… some tough things. And in the midst of going through those things, you have to figure out how to proceed and take the L as a lesson instead of a loss. You can fight and have faith, or you can give up and call it quits. As long as you keep living, you have to keep pushing. So that’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to fight, I’m going to keep my faith, and I’m going to be okay.
Though many areas of my life are being challenged, there are some triumphs to report. I have two days left for my summer credential program and I have an A in all of my classes. I made the last payment for tuition and that was really exciting, considering I paid for it out of pocket. (My bank account is also grateful.) I went to Santa Cruz for the 4th of July and it was nice being able to spend time with my family in one of my favorite places. Well, Santa Cruz is actually an odd little town, but the beach and boardwalk are two of my favorite attractions in California. I have a few more trips planned before summer is over - I’m looking to go to Southern California and you guys… Las Vegas is calling my name. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t like the summer because I don’t like the heat, so why I’m voluntarily going to a city that is 300 degrees by 9 in the morning, I don’t know lol. Anyway, there will be another story time if I end up going to Las Vegas because… well, it’s Vegas, where anything can happen (insert eye emoji).
Alright, let’s end with a little Q&A from Instagram because some of you had more stuff to ask. If you’re not following me, what are you doing? From time to time I’m funny and I’m occasionally cute.
Why do you have nice feet? I don’t know how to answer this… genetics I guess. But thank you lol.
Just wanted to say you are beautiful inside and out and I’m so grateful for you!!! I loooove you, and I’m super grateful for you too. Thank you for being a light in my life. (I wish you guys could meet the person who said this… what a sweet soul she is.)
What country would you travel to and why? Italy, hands down. Pasta is the best thing ever and I’ve always loved Italian culture. Plus, ya girl speaks a little Italian too.
Make a YouTube channel!! The people need it! Lol I don’t know what kind of channel I’d have. Any suggestions?
What kind of credential are you getting? Education Specialist, specifically mild/moderate.
Who’s your favorite person and why? My mom. And if you’ve had the privilege of meeting her, you know why. The kindest and most loving soul I have ever met. Anything you like about me comes from her.
Song that always gets you pumped? Good Life by Kanye West… one of my faves.
Hotel suggestions for Vegas? I don’t know because I stayed in an Airbnb that was trash lol (here is the story behind that trip). We stayed for one night in the Renaissance but I wouldn’t recommend for more than like 2 days because it’s expensive.
It’s way past my bedtime now and I have a season on Netflix to finish so I’m signing off. If you’re going through a rough time, you’re not alone. As someone always tells me, “chin up, knees bent”. It means keep your head up and bend those knees to pray. Pray all the time, even when things are going well. God’s got us. Until next time… keep it solid, drink water, mind your business, and wash your face. See you in my next post!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 NIV
All My Love,
Tyler